Chairman Mao's Hypothetical Graviton

It is suppertime at the Quinine residence. Child-genius, Kolya is working out whether he should favour a force mediated by a hypothetical graviton, or a discrete structure of spacetime (as in loop quantum gravity) while his grandfather (Samuel) tries to solve a more taxing problem -  how Jorvik Stilten can produce 36,811 copies of this week's Nordic Newsletter for the Chinese market. It is Leporello Swanson who rides to his rescue. His Shanghai friend's grandmother made her fortune in the 1970s printing several million copies of a 'Lin Biao endorsed' edition of Mao's Little Red Book. She retired in 1986 to raise satin Angora rabbits, but her press is still in operation printing poundshop catalogues, and it has spare capacity.

The Return of Scabby Felix

It is Zebedee Thurlough, landlord of the Never a True Word pub, who becomes the stringent victim of young Kimrock's poster campaign. At first the strategy appears to target the pub, warning potential customers that they are entering an area of Political Insensitivity and Moral Turpitude. Several casual passers-by do indeed divert to the Local Coffee House or to MacGonagall’s Writer’s Café when they see the flags, banners and graffiti that Kimrock has positioned around the entrance. However tonight the Iron Grunge Octet, Scabby Felix, are performing live, and Thurlough, confident that all publicity is good publicity, doesn’t expect takings to be down. The gig is indeed a triumph, however the poster messages outside begin to take on a darker tone.

100 mg a day

Far away, Prigentia settles in to her new home, aided by more than a smidgeon of ritilin (even she thinks 50 mg twice a day is a bit much).  Her smartphone is plugged permanently into the mains in order to cope with the volume of uploads, downloads and crossloads (for the lay reader this is not a Chinese soap, but a method of re-transferring data, analogous to retweeting). But in Seven Dials a collective sense of guilt is growing. Had the worthies condemned a defenceless child to exile in a remote institutional hell. The young Kimrock certainly believes so, and starts a condemnatory publicity campaign against (in particular) the mature men-folk of the area. Posters start to appear on the walls.

Mass Circulation

Jorvik Stilten is interrupted as he continues his recording of the recent history of the Seven Dials community. Until now his regular Nordic newsletter has been circulated to about 1720 homes in the area, with an additional 263 subscribers online. 

On Tuesday, however, he receives an order from Hangzhou ( 杭州 )in China for 36,811 copies a week for the months of May and June. He rushes around local printers to ascertain whether or not he should agree to fulfil the order. Sadly, he listens to the advice of Hedre, who offers to print them on his home printer. They start the process, but after 712 copies the printer catches fire, destroying the printer itself, and the 712 copies.  

Normalisation

In the Never a True Word pub, there is a hastily convened meeting. Zebedee Thurlough, the curmudgeonly landlord, usually refuses to serve food, but on this occasion he sells falafel on sourdough bread. The difficulty is Prigentia who is seen (by most residents) as the cause of all the difficulties in the area. They plan a collection to find a long-term placement or incarceration in a distant boarding school in remote Northumberland, not far from Bamburgh Castle. As the meeting breaks up, Prigentia herself appears on the door of the Snug, and starts an eerie incantation, capturing the following words. 'I know you all, and will awhile uphold The unyoked humor of your idleness; Yet herein will I imitate the sun'.

Kimrock's despair

So what of Prigentia? Intellectually, she soars above all, those she meets. Initially when you encounter her, she appears much older than her years, but emotionally, she is an adolescent sea gull, squawking for attention, unfocused, and scrabbling in the rubbish bins of other people's needs, sabotaging the relationships she desires. Her absent father despairs whilst her ever-present mother pulsates with misguided intention. Amongst those she magnetises, the poor young Kimrock is the most despondent. Prigentia turns to him for advice, and truly values him as a friend, but her attentions are always directed elsewhere, and he can only trail behind, attendant and yearning. By virtue of their ages (and often for other reasons) many of her other admirers seem inappropriate.

Things to come

Some time still remains before the final conflagration facing our characters is approached (a month perhaps), but for the sake of the ever-tolerant reader, it is perhaps a suitable opportunity to draw together the various macrame strands that have woven intricate but disturbingly black expressionist designs across these pages. We are moving towards the final scenario when the fate of the main characters is played out. 

So let us recap. We have reached the current state. Jorvik Stilten, chiropractic, has set up the Nordic Cutural Newsletter to record the life of the inhabitants of Seven Dials. Into this strange mix lands the Colswain family, in particular Prigentia, who’s views and adventures will come to affect all those who she encounters.

Turn my water into wine

When Kugarita Zinfandel returns home, she finds a letter from her brother, Boaz, who is planning to visit the Isle of Canna in the Inner Hebrides, with their older brother Yachin. The two artists hope to get inspiration (and stone) for their latest sculpture project called 'macrolepidoptera and the wedding' (Kugarita calls it Moths Bross). They plan to drive there in their VW T5 motor caravan, and stay at a four star hotel. Kugarita thinks that there is a weakness in her brothers' plans. The population of the Island is less than twenty (though there are three churches and broadband), and the only accommodation for visitors, though charming and comfortable, is an old Edwardian guest house, and vehicles are restricted.

Kolya's marmite soldiers

Leporello Swanson takes one look at the cloned digital neurometer that Samuel is showing Milton Ridley and lets out a piercing shriek.  When Samuel tells him that Kolya made it with his technical lego Leporello is amazed, not because it proves that Kolya is an infant genius, but because it is the key instrument that will prove his theory of sustainable management of  Eduard Čech’s cohomology within the new paradign of Hyoaxic spatial music. He begs to discuss it with the child, but Samuel is unwilling. He is worried that too much attention  will go to the boy’s head.  He suggests that Lepo pens a few questions which Samuel will put to Kolya as he is eating his marmite soldiers.

The care of Kolya Quinine

If you’ve been puzzled by the appearance from time to time of Kolya, grandson of Samuel Quinine (proprietor of Yifitsin Print Bookshop) and wondered what his parents are doing leaving him so frequently with the somewhat aloof grandfather, the family set up needs to be explained.   Samuel’s only son, Lustral (named after Samuel’s own father who had once been engaged to Missikin Yentol, in the days before she became a nun) is a very quiet scholar, researching Magyar Literature whilst his rather errant wife, Sonia (nee Labrador) travels the world promoting her fashion business (she designs trendy ‘supportwear’ for the fashion-conscious over eighties).  So Samuel takes on the care of Kolya, who has just managed to clone a digital neurometer.

Hot Gossip

Sevalanz Grimble gets a text message from Lazarus Colswain. He is worried about the rumours of his daughter’s well-being. He asks Sevalanz (an old flame) for any news. Sevalanz is taking tea with  Milton Ridley who repeats the views of the locals about Prigentia. He suggests that she has a split personality, and is therefore not fantasising at all. If there are two personalities, he explains, then it follows that there must be two real experiences of life.  They chew this one over for a while, and Sevalanz sends a reply to Lazarus telling him that everything is fine. In the corner, Kolya, the young grandson of Samuel Quinine, for whom Sevalanz is babysitting, is playing with a circuit board.

The Timing and Choreography of Sexual Attraction

Again Prigentia steals the show. The assembled chevra are gathered around her at the snug of the Never a True Word pub, as she explains her theory that she was 'harvested' by aliens, but bravely fought her way back home. "Theory' because in fact she has no memory of the events of the last 24 hours, having had one of her inexplicable turns. From the corner Augustus Albi gazes in resignation at the insufferable precocious princess, and he watches the range of local worthies, young and old, besotted by her performance. He is sad for he still remembers the day long ago when, uncharacteristically he momentarily lost his equilibrium and overcome with desire made a pass at a beautiful stranger.

Pesach with Prigentia

It is of course much ado about nothing. As the young Kimrock celebrates the Passover meal with his family, at the point when the front door is thrown open to welcome  the prophet Elijah, who should be waiting there but Prigentia Colswain, faint and a little dizzy, but otherwise unharmed.  They bring her in, and ply her with charoseth (the ceremonial mortar blended from dates, nuts, apples, cinnamon and wine). She adopts her most ever-suffering pose (which she has taken great care to copy from old images of Sarah Bernhardt) and asks for a moment of silence while she regains her strength. Once she has gained the full attention of all, she embarks on a lusty rendition of Chad Gadya.

Photofit

Nowhere in the area has there been any sign of Prigentia. She was last been seen wearing an outrageous eighteenth century outfit which she has hired from a fancy dress shop in Hove. The local police are issuing idisyncratic photofit images drawn up from reports by her nearest and dearest. The young Kimrock is, of course, beside himself. He was hoping that she would accompany him to the family Passover seder meal. Meanwhile Hamentash Yumble has been planning to take her to visit Verona, and Leoprello Swanson is hoping to impress her with his CD and accompanying newly-bound thesis on Hyoaxic spatial music. Escorted by Ruham Alif, Grapella Colswain is giving the police full details of her daughter's appearance.

The value of painted signs

The thin and bony Hamentash Yumble is exhibiting his latest collection of chiaroscuro drip-fired miniatures.  His wealthy sponsors have showered him with money but here at the Sussex Avant Garden Gallery (SAGG) no-one is particularly impressed. 


As result Yumble sits in a tawdry bar drowning his sorrows.  Over his third pint he vents his anger on the comrade who befriended him when he was still unknown.  ‘ Give up trying to tell the locals that your style is a fusion of Braque and Pollock,’ the man suggests. ‘ Tell them you painted it for your grandma.’ 

Yumble paints a multicoloured sign to that effect, and immediately sells twelve pieces. He offers his companion a generous contract as his PR consultant.

Reconciliation

Finally it seems there is a reconciliation between Leporello Swanson and Grapella Colswain. The perspicacious Ruham Alif (handsome electrician and Tychonoff fan, locally known as the ox) has invited both sides to his house for a drink. He serves them a rough brew of scrumpy-based cocktails, and soon they are all rolling about singing the praises of Urysohn’s lemma (that old familiar normal space in which merry but disjoint subsets can be separated by a joyful function). The next day all three nurse hangovers, but the experience has solved a major problem in Leppo’s research.  He can introduce the cohomology discovered by Eduard Čech (much referred to in this blog) into the formula around which Hyoaxic spatial music is derived.

Stesichorus talks of Ululation

In his latest attempt at transcribing scientific text into spatially modulated music in Hyoax mode, Leporello Swinson has been examining musical references in ancient texts. In an extra-canonical book from Terpsicore by Herodotus for example he found that it was the norm in Thrace during funerary orations for polyphonic dialobes to be interspersed with primitive ululation (as mentioned in the Stesichorus’s palinodic account of the Trojan War). Leppo now makes the crucial mistake of assuming that the assembled company in the Snug at the Never a True Word Pub will be interested in his findings, and he is dismayed when after twenty minutes of his detailed explanation someone puts a coin in the juke box and Paolo Nutini blares out.

Mrs Papworth's pineapple chunks

Around Seven Dials even the older shops date back only a few decades. In one corner however time has stood still. Here is Mrs Papworth’s sweetshop, still selling pineapple chunks and aniseed balls. When Leporello Swanson first wandered in, he was greeted by the  rasping sound of the owner, dressed in Victorian black, short and old as the hills, asking what he required. She peered at him from behind the counter, and wielding a silver hammer she broke off shards of toffee from a shiny solid block. Leppo had never seen anything like it. Now he goes in daily to discover some new delight. But even the saintly Mrs Papworth is not interested in the diatonality of Hyoaxic spatial music.

Esoteric research into the Golden Dawn of the late 19th century

Strange things happen in normal spaces. Several days ago Ophelia Hedre looked in her cupboard for the old tweed jacket that she wanted to wear as the weather was unseasonably cold.  As she opened the door there was a vague whiff of lavender, and a sudden rustle. Pushing aside the jackets and blouses, she could just discern a forest glade in the place where the back of the cupboard should be. It was however too dark to advance, so she went back to grab a torch. But when she returned there was nothing there – just an ordinary cupboard,  with someone squatting down beneath the clothes, doing what one always does in cupboards. No lions and not a witch in sight.

Biography of Jack Hughes

Despite the rain, there is a sense that spring has arrived at Seven Dials, and the residents are discussing their holiday plans. At the library Tom Purdue  is studying the maps. He is not sure why the Isle of Man is so closely linked to velosports, nevertheless he is planning a cycle tour of the island.  In preparation he is reading Emile Zola’s biography of one of the greatest  Manx cyclists, Jack Hughes, who was an early recipient of the traditional Manx three-footed championship medal.  Tom recently purchased a replica from an antique shop in Berlin (though there was some confusion when he tried to ask for it in German).  Jack Hughes  is a bit older than Tom Purdue.

Nocte Lucis

On Tuesdays Magritude Feather ‘does’ for Emelda Bush.  She arrives early and scrubs the floor, hoovers the carpet and (due to Emelda’s particular touchiness) disinfects the door handles. Today however she has a special task – to prepare the vegetables for the evening gathering of the Sorority (Sisters of the Willow Chair). The Sisterhood (as far as can be revealed publicly) amongst other things promotes the increased consumption of Vegetable and Black Pudding Medley. This is a popular forum, and offers an intense cultural programme to which the occasional gentleman may be invited to speak. Tonight Ruham Alif (the handsome electrician, locally known as 'the ox') is addressing the ladies on Tychonoff's theorem (his particular interest). Emelda’s spacious lounge is packed.

170,000 Voynich glyphs

Could anyone other than Stella Sopling have managed to create a wild garden of such delicate beauty. The committee of the Seven Dials Open Gardens (SDOG) is gathering suitable candidates for their May extravaganza. Trailing amongst their examining group is Yevgeny Huxtable who is in a curmudgeonly mood. He is worrying about a scrap from an old vellum in his collection that was inscribed with writing similar to that of the Voynich Manuscript (a constant source of curiosity for him since first being allowed to examine it in 1989). He suspects that it may even be one of the missing pages of the old codex. But he filed it away last December and hasn’t been able to find it since.

Ah taci, ingiusto core

Leporello Swinson finally arrives in Seven Dials. He had originally been intending to stay with Grapella and Prigentia, but it appears that since the holiday in Gundelfingen some frostiness has developed between him and the Colswains. Since Samuel Quinine has a room to let, Cortally Bakewell suggests that he let it to Swinson.

Leppo moves in, and enthuses around the area like an eager puppy. Unfortunately it is not long before he bumps into Grapella. Ignoring her cool indifference he explains that he is currently transcribing Zemelo’s Axiom of Choice into Urdu in order to set it to a complex arrangement of Hyoax Spatial Music. She dismisses this as a precocious chat-up line (and who can say she is wrong?)

Quack! Quack!

Everything is done, and so Sevalanz Grimble decides to paint red her statuette of Virgina Woolf. Not a natural decorator, she gets paint everywhere, so she wanders down to incarnadine the multitudinous sea, which has been bothering her with its polluted azure bloom. She looks at the reflected shimmer of the sun. Fiery gems, she wonders, or a false creation. Words! Words! Words! (Though as Woolf said they are not words until they are part of a sentence, or was it Eliza Doolittle who made that observation?)  Then she (Ms Grimble that is, not Ms Doolittle or Ms Dalloway) goes off to place the flowers in the vase that she bought today, before resting her head for just five minutes. 

In 1915 Georges Braque suffered temporary blindness from a war wound

Whilst Hamentash Yumble is basking in Prigentia’s admiration, he does not return her adoration. However people are talking, and he considers it wise to distance himself a little, so he has a heart-to-heart talk with the young Kimrock and offers him words of advice based on his dubious wide experience. 

He then drives to his new yacht which  he has recently bought with the proceeds from the sale of a set of his chiaroscuro drip-fired miniatures. He leaves the marina to sail to Dieppe where (at the  Château-musée) he is exhibiting a series of studies in a new style which fuses the work of Georges Braque and Jackson Pollock.  

Meanwhile the young Kimrock has the sense to disregard Yumble’s pop-psychology.

Style beyond Chanctonbury

‘Don’t believe everything you hear at Moudi’s!’ That is the advice that Prigentia gives to the young Kimrock when the love-torn Toy Sprout confronts her about her relationship with the long, thin, bony but definitely talented Hamentash Yumble. Apparently Malvolio Claxendell spotted them walking across the Downs beyond Chanctonbury Ring, and mentioned this to Sister Veracitude, who told Kugarita Zinfandel when they were at the studio.  Kugarita shared the information with Tabitha who let Hedre know as they were imbibing one of Ahmed’s more invigorating tisanes. And so it went on around the Seven Dials community. However of most interest was the question of Yumble’s attire. He was sporting a Hermès crocodile and chiffon black tee-shirt and Laslo Carradine jeans.